I really not sure how it is possible that Ryan is 13 today. I think back to things that I did with him when he was a baby. It really feels like just yesterday to me. I remember when we first brought him home. I didn't even want to sleep because I didn't want to miss anything. (that didn't last long). I soon craved sleep and couldn't get any. He was a lil' red-headed bundle of joy. My life purpose was defined in those moments. I knew that God created me to be a mommy. There was nothing else in life that would ever be so fulfilling to me as that.
Now, Ryan is beginning to show signs of independence. Not in a bad way. He really has been a good kid so far. I guess what I mean is that I "feel" him growing up. He doesn't need me as much. Part of me is scared by that. My whole identity is wrapped up in being a mom. I wake up and go to bed thinking about how I will be needed that day for my kids. Between volunteering in classrooms, youth groups, holiday class parties, making supper, homework, hair-cuts, dental appointments. It is who I am and what I do.
So today, Ryan has requested that I eat lunch with him at school. I still am "cool" enough to be with him around his friends. The McDonald's fish sandwich didn't hurt either. Then he has a hair cut after school. We are going to take him to Applebee's for supper, then go to the Y for Gracie's b-ball practice. His actual party is Friday. He will invite Carter and Cameron Mitchell, Trent Putnam, and Dylan Rucker over to spend the night. Fun, fun, fun times.